A Day In The Life of Baby Emma

[humming]

Splish splash, I was takin' a bath
Long about a Saturday night
A rub-a-dub, just relaxin' in the tub
Thinkin' everything was alright
Well, I stepped out the tub, put my feet on the floor
I wrapped the towel around me and I
Opened the door, and then I
Splish, splash...
I jumped back in the bath.
Well how was I to know there was a party going on?

Huh?

Oh, hey guys.

I’m taking a bath. In the basement. In a tub. Because my family decided to rip out the upstairs bathroom right after I was born, leaving me with no bathtub.

Not the world’s brightest idea, clearly.

I’m stewing about the whole situation. My mama told me that chewing on the bath brush wouldn’t help but frankly I’m feeling rather ornery and the whole brush-gnawing-thing is making me feel better. 

She tried to take the brush but I screamed bloody murder. That sure showed her. 

My mama may have muttered something about ‘picking one’s battles’ but I didn’t catch the whole phrase and frankly I don’t really care what she thinks. Hasn’t she figured out that I am the most determined baby that ever crawled? 

Don’t mess with me, milk lady. 

Do you see what I have to put up with? The accommodations around here are simply terrible. And the service. The service! I don’t even want to go there.

sigh.

And now. Now she dumped all the water out of my tub! The nerve. 

So I’m going to take the matter into my own hands and figure out how to work the shower. 

Reaching the handle is going to be a problem. 

Can you believe it, guys? I have to do everything around here. 

I’m a determined baby but, really, this is asking too much. 

You know what? I’m just going to sit here and pee on the floor. That’ll show her. 

Clean baby? HA. 

Back in the bath for me. Mission accomplished.

Oh yeah.  This is the life. 

I totally out maneuvered the madre on that one.

Baby  1
Mama 0

xo, 

Emma